They say change rarely comes from a place of contentment. People often change for two reasons; either they learn enough from the situation or they have been hurt enough that they have to.
As I sat in a hospital chair waiting for the prognosis I was ridden with anxiety, fear and a somewhat already defeated expectation. At only 9 weeks pregnant I knew all the signs where pointing to a miscarriage. But it was fine because as I sat their overwhelmed with disappointment, my glass half full approach to life told me we would just try again. Little did I know that what would proceed was contrary to this belief and when I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and told I had a large growth on my ovary which was potentially ovarian cancer my world froze. Fortunately further investigations revealed that the growth was benign, however I was subsequently told that I would never conceive naturally, if at all.
In my despair and desperation I sought to find a solution, because after all, I was always meant to be a mum! I was sure I could fix this despite what the medical professionals were telling me. In this place of discontent came my catalyst for change. I embarked on a quest to heal myself and this involved making some radical changes in my life. I started with my diet and eliminated certain food groups such as wheat, dairy, sugar as well as things like soy and bottled water which were cited as effecting hormone balance and in particular estrogen levels in women. I went from alternative therapist couch to couch trying every possible treatment on the market from Chinese herbs to journey therapy and childhood regression in case there was something more deeply and emotionally rooted which was preventing this from happening. To eliminate stress as a possible cause I quit my job at the detriment of the career I had worked so hard to build and I re-trained as a reflexologist and went on to learn about the principles of reiki healing.
My days where endlessly filled with yoga, meditation and relaxation, and whilst to some this has the essence of bliss, the overwhelming sadness each month overshadowed this. And then one day I woke up and decided that I did not want to feel like this anymore and whilst I had grown so much through my spiritual journey and was (and still am) ever grateful for where my darkest times took me, I was ready to accept my life as it was meant to be and live it normally again. And like all good stories with a happy ending that’s when it happened! I finally fell pregnant naturally, without any intervention, without any thought.
As the mother of two amazing children, what I learnt from this experience were two things. The first was that it was through making these radical changes to my diet and lifestyle which allowed me to regain control and focus during a challenging time. The second was how good balanced nutrition and wellbeing could affect my health and eliminate illness. Food can play a vital role in creating and causing illness or healing the body and therefore every time you eat it is an opportunity to fuel and nourish your body. Eating healthy isn’t always easy, but committing to a healthy diet can be one of the smartest decisions you’ll ever make.
At some stage in life there comes a point where you have a moment of realization that you are not where you were meant to be and you just can’t keep living the way you’ve been living. That moment when you find yourself in a situation where you have had to admit that you are maybe in the wrong career or job, in the wrong relationship or surrounded by the wrong people. Whatever the situation or scenario the thought process is normally the same and engulfed with emotions of despair, fear and uncertainty. It can feel like the only option is to continue forward and suppress those emotions. Or you take a take a leap of faith and make the change: after all it could be worse, but then again it could also be better…!